RANSVESTIA

And there wasn't a bloody thing I could do. In this business posses- sion is ten-tenths of the law. If I made a noise the downstairs slob would turn to his faithful girl friday and Betty would confirm her boss's creativity. So I sat there, like the jerk she proved I was, and watched Betty Clapper ascend to the wood paneled wonderland that is the fifty- eighth floor. I had been taken advantage of and hungered for revenge, but I was powerless. The elevator doors closed and Betty Clapper was lifted upward by my hard work. I wanted to ring her pretty little neck, but I am a civilized man and civilized men don't do such things. So I sat there like the civilized jerk I am and proceeded to break all the pencils in my pencil holder by snapping them in half, one at a time.

By the time I reached my small, overpriced apartment on the west side my mood had darkened further. My outlook was not helped by finding I had left the air conditioner running all day and therefore burning kilowatts like they were going out of style. I turned the machine off and looked out the window. Through two brown buildings I could see a thin slic of green which was the view of Central Park the apartment had been advertised to afford. It was clear to me that if I didn't get out of the apartment and myself I would go silently nuts. I picked up the phone and called Arnie Spore.

"Hello?" Arnie's voice called to me from the background noise of the six o'clock news.

"Arnie, it's Greg. Look, would you like to take Bobbie out tonight?" I asked.

ed.

"I did have something penciled in for tonight," he answered.

"Could you erase it? If I don't get out of here I'll freak," I return-

"Okay, we can go out for drinks. Can you meet me?"

I told him sure and we elected to meet at a nice little place on the upper east side. I thanked him, hung up and started walking toward the bathroom shedding my Robert Hall off the rack sports coat as I went. Arnie was doing me a favor and I wanted to look extra pretty.

Once out of my clothes I indulged myself in a steaming hot bubble bath. I had taken the first step to leaving the Greg portions of myself